Tuesday, January 20, 2009

How We Got Here

My last day at Dr. Slayden's(My fertility specialist)
Jackson & I knew we wanted to start a family as soon as we got married. It's not that we had trouble getting pregnant....Jackson could look at me and I would get pregnant. I just had a hard time holding on to the pregnancy. I miscarried three times in less than a year. The first two were after the babies heartbeats were detected. Unless you've gone through the loss of a pregnancy, it's hard to understand what it feels like, and it's hard for me to put it into words. I don't know how I could have gotten through it without strong faith in The Lord, my husband and my family and friends. After my third miscarriage, my doctor refered me to a fertility specialist. After extensive testing, my fertility specialist decided that fertility drugs were my best options. He wanted my body, with the help of the drugs, to produce multiple eggs in one cycle in hopes that one of the eggs would be a "good egg", and I would carry it to term. The first month of treatment, we tried Clomid. My body didn't respond the way the doctor wanted it to. I actually ovulated before any of the eggs were mature enough to be fertilized. Then, the next month, they found a cyst of one of my overies and had to postpone treatment. Ugghhh! Then, the doctor decided we should try injectables(Menopur). So here we go, a shot in my stomach every night. I didn't care..... I would do anything to get pregnant and stay that way.

Ok... the injectables did what they were supposed to do, and my eggs were ready. We decided to do IUI(intrauterine insemenation). Since I do get pregnant so easy, we wanted to try that before we resorted to in vitro.

Two and half weeks after the IUI, I got a positive pregnancy test! I was excited and scared to death. Would it work this time? I had eight eggs that were mature enough to be fertilized, surely one of them will be good. The doctor told me that he thought I would carry one, maybe two. Two loooong weeks went by, and it was finally time for our first ultrasound. How many would there be? Would this really work?

The sonographer started the ultrasound and it seemed like forever before she spoke. TRIPLETS!!!! What??? We knew there was a chance we could have multiples, but you're never really prepared for someone to tell you that your having three babies at once! All the blood had drained from Jackson's face, and tears began to fall down my face. We frantically began asking questions.....Do they all look ok? Are they measuring like they are supposed to? Are their little heartbeats strong? YES! YES! YES! More tears. The sonographer asked if I was ok. I said "It's just that, we've lost three." And she said "Well Honey...you just found 'em."
So that's it in a nut shell. That's how I got pregnant with my little miracles. Isn't amazing how God works. I lost three babies, and he gave them back to me. I was meant to be a mom of triplets.

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  1. Jill, reading your story brought back so many memories. A lot of feelings return when I think about all that you and Jackson were going through emotionally. I remember all the days and nights I sat on the computer trying to understand what you and your precious miracles were going through physically. Calling Wanda every other minute getting her to explain as much as she could to me. One memory I will always have is the memory of you and Jackson standing at the front of our Church with Gordon and our Elders in prayer. I spent many days and nights on my knees talking to God and trying to understand what he was telling me. Just like Danny said in one of his sermons during those struggling days, our darkest moments bring us the closest to God when we allow him to come to us. We would have never made it through all those days without him.

    You look wonderful, and I am so proud of you and how well you are doing. There is no way for me to know what you are going through every day holding onto Jack, Isabella and Gabe. You do it with so much grace and love and with God beside you. You and Jackson are going to be the best parents ever!!

  2. Yay! I love your blog! I am so glad you are here, at 24 weeks, and I know you will make it so much further! Every week is such a huge stepping stone for those little angels! Love you!

  3. gosh, reading your story again---made me cry, AGAIN! lost three, found three....GOd is SO gracious!!!!

  4. I stumbled across your blog, and what an inspiring story you have!! I have suffered 3 miscarriages myself and it gives me hope! I do have 3 beautiful kids, but we are still wanting more. What an amazing blessing!